he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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