I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
