ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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