I seem to have left my pride at pride
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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