I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
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My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't deserve a penis
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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