Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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