That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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