He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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