That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
