It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
