Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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