My friends, they love my intelligence
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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