Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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