hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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