My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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