i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
