Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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