let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
