I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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