I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize