1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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