Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
