We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
