yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
