we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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