we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
