The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
