Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
