walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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