i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
People in love make me want to vomit
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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