Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
