Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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