i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We have so much sex to catch up on
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
