P.S. I can't hear my feet
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
