It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
