Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
