The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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