ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
