it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
