Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
