i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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