I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i've created a new STD.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
