the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize