STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
