Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
