my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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