I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
