I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
