I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
