you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
