If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He? As in you personified your dick?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
