Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
two words...techno handjob
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
