just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need to sanitize my soul.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
