I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
