You're so nebulous sometimes
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
