he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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