Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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