I accidentally burped into my bong.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
