For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
