Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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