He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are the jesus of drinking
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
